We have all encountered emotionally triggering situations. Maybe it was the result of starting a new job, managing an overwhelming workload, experiencing heartbreak; or perhaps, simply a stronger tone of voice by your boss, again not cleaned dishes by your partner or your friend not responding on time.
Whatever the cause, emotions were triggered, leaving us feeling slightly uncomfortable; and sometimes even totally thrown off-guard and placed into a hectic, and deeply emotional, roller-coaster.
But have you ever stopped to ask “why”? Why it is that certain matters, situations or people trigger you? And, why it is that some trigger you more than others?
To understand the why requires that we first define “emotional trigger.”
An emotional trigger is an external mirror for our internal wound or limiting belief. It is our soul saying: “You are on the right track. But to continue to grow, you need to heal or change this part of you.” It’s pointing to a part that no longer serves us; a part that should we keep, will actually prevent us from expanding.
An emotional trigger is an external mirror for our internal wound or limiting belief.
Most frustrating and annoying situations (and even people) are actually our biggest gifts in life because they show us our neglected, hidden, unacknowledged – but still painful – wounds. They, metaphorically, put a finger on it which is why it hurts! Our soul always leads us towards healthy and wholehearted-living, and it has creative ways of showing up to guide us towards that best version of ourselves.
Our soul always leads us towards healthy and wholehearted-living, and it has creative ways of showing up to guide us towards that best version of ourselves.
As humans, we tend to place certain experiences in our subconscious mind where they become hidden from our everyday thoughts. An emotionally triggering situation is the quickest way to bring our awareness to what we’ve placed in hiding.
If we don’t look within – honestly or deeply – and address what we see, life will find another person or situation to create the same trigger, over and over until we see and take action. Maybe you’ve noticed these types of repeating patterns throughout your life?
Until you learn to face your own shadows, you will continue to see (and be chased by) them.
Until you learn to face your own shadows, you will continue to see (and be chased by) them.
It’s our responsibility to take true ownership of our life (including our emotions and feelings), because in the end, everything you experience is a projection of what’s going on inside of you. For example, if you fear manipulation, look within to find a part of you which manipulates others; if you are afraid of people leaving you, seek the aspects of you who leaves others; or, if you feel rejected and underappreciated, find a part where you reject and underappreciate others… or even yourself.
It’s not always “the other person.”
Which is why it is essential to go within; to be absolutely honest and transparent with yourself and really listen, layer-by-layer, to what your heart and emotions are telling you. And to allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling.
Here are few steps to do just that:
1. Notice what you feel and where you feel it in your body. Name the feelings. This helps you gain clarity on what’s happening and opens the door for a deeper exploration. And, it often reduces the intensity of the emotion because your soul feels you are embracing what’s occurring, versus feeling like it needs to scream loudly to get your attention.
2. Acknowledge what you feel, accept it, give it space, and surrender. Don’t try to resist it because “what you resist persists.” Resistance is what actually creates the pain and tension. By avoiding the emotion, you are taking away all possibility of healing. And besides, the emotion is already here, now, so what’s the point of denying it?
3. Try to understand what your emotions are telling you. Ask this emotion “What do you need? What are you trying to tell me?” Ask yourself, ‘What is this situation perfect for? What could I learn? What does it mirror in me?’
4. When you are ready, and have given enough time for the points above, try to find a solution.
It is at this point, and no sooner, that your compassionate attention will allow a transformation to take place, because it is at this moment that you have accepted the parts of you which been unrecognized, unmet and unwanted — the parts you haven’t accepted for years.
Truly and nakedly facing your emotional triggers can be the most challenging, but also the most enhancing and rewarding, experience of your life. It’s a testament of emotional courage, and a ‘permission slip’ to drop beliefs that limit you and step into the best and most successful version of you. And believe me, I know it’s not always easy to go on that journey. Especially alone. Because sometimes, you can only go so far, so fast… after all, they don’t call it a limiting belief for nothing.
Should you want to go deeper within, together, please contact me or simply book an exploration session.
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